(Hope this isn't one of those tl;dr journals...)

uh... hey... hi guys... you don't have to comment or anything like that, this is just a message... kinda half n' half for myself, and to others...

There's really no need to say anything about my *cough* previous journal or things from back then... but, i just want to say this...

in my previous journal entry, i was very... negative...
and i felt really stupid some time after putting it up... because i felt like i just should have kept my mouth shut.
so i got rid of the journal...

i admit now, that some of the things were just my negative emotions taking me over... like saying that "there's no future for me..." and shit like that...
but i swear, the others where i mentioned being hurt by others close to me, being put down, betrayed, etc. all of that was real...

(moving on)
over the time that i was gone I've been doing a lot of... well, "soul searching"... and dealing with other hardships in life... and doing some things...

i feel better now... things have calmed down... I've become more comfortable with myself and who i am... I also feel like I've changed in some ways...

*sigh* now that that's out of my system, (and if your still reading)
I was thinking about coming back... and if i did, i told myself that i wouldn't be on this account... cause to be honest, i don't like all the things i did on here... i think most of it is complete and utter crap...

sooo, i made this account quite a while ago...

Just in case...

so from now on, I will be on that account... I'll still mostly be a silent spectator... but I'll pop in now n' then for a comment here and there... when i finish some new things, I'll submit again...
see ya later...

I'm currently going through a lot of shit and severe self esteem issues that I didn't even realize I had... I cant focus or even think straight... but, I also often end up thinking too much. Thats another problem I have on my shoulders right now, along with my failing memory... I usually cant remember a damned thing now... probably cause I cant think or focus...and maybe thats why I'm getting buried in a lot of shit these days... (pain, hurt...)

I'm thinking of removing my "attempted" Christmas comic for a while.... cause it clearly wasn't ready, and I was foolish to get so hyped up and anxious for people to see it, it ended up not being funny. The writing is awful, and the jokes are stale... a possible result of my stress and issues... so I may be removing the current pages until I fix the humor, and possibly a tune up for the appearances in it, if my drawing skills ever got any better... (though I seriously doubt it... I have little faith right now)... so yeah....
we'll just see what happens... sorry... *sigh*...

(P.S.)
(Josh C. ... I'm going to kill you...)
(testing... disregard)

i keep getting buried in a bunch of shit.... for some reason.... i cant really draw, but i can sculpt just fine under my current circumstances.....

right now im still trying to resurrect my old Christmas comic... so far... nothing....
but who says you cant make a christmas comic in the later year?

so yea i put up some stuff i havent been able to for awhile... and a new sculpture.

i'll see ya when i get better from the art block... oh, and i finally got a Wii a week ago... its alot of fun.

ugh....
things just keep getting worse, yet another art block and more shit... i keep trying to draw, and i cant even doodle...
and a couple of friends left DA... im so very ill and uninspired to do even anything... this seems to be happening to me alot lately... im not leaving though... im sticking it out...
im not leaving anytime soon... i just keep getting buried in shit by almost everyone i know... id rather not talk about it...

in the meantime, im trying to draw again, theres just alot of shit to get through... its so stressful... sorry... ill get through it though sometime...

in more news, i may make another account like alot of people do...
this account will be just NiGHTS stuff, and my other account will be my original drawings with my own characters... i tried putting some of my characters up on here but, it just felt too awkward... so i deleted them... so im reeeeaaaly leaning towards making a new account for my characters...

so yeah.... thats about it... im not being emo or shit like that, im just going through a ton of shit that id prefer not going into detail... so, again im sorry, (its like this happens alot huh?) and ill try to get some stuff up... (like my comic, that i will NOT give up on...)
in the meantime please just bear with me. (good god, i think i mispelled "bear or bare" ah, who cares... my god that does rhyme...) later...